I started 2020 on one side of the world, and ended it on another. It felt like I was just getting around to fostering genuine and fulfilling connections in South Korea when I had to relocate back to the States. Because of this, I haven’t written about my time and experiences in Korea nearly as much as I thought I would. So with the closing of the year, I wanted to try to do a brief sweep over some commonly asked questions about my time over there, in case I never get around to writing about it again!

Why Korea?

There’s a long backstory behind this (that has little-to-nothing to do with K-Pop or K-dramas) that dates back to high school. But the short version is this: my friends of Korean descent introduced me to the language, and I eventually continued learning it on my own for fun. And when presented with the opportunity to study abroad, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to spend some time on the ground to accelerate my language learning process. And things just progressed from there~

How many times have you been to Korea, and what were you doing there?

I have been in Korea two times. My first time was through a study abroad program while I was in college, during which I spent the spring semester in 2017 studying at Yonsei University in Seoul. My second time spanned across 2019 and 2020, during which I returned as a Fulbright Scholar, teaching English at an elementary school. So in total, I have lived in South Korea for about 1.5 years of my life--which, really, is the longest time I’ve spent in any place other than the US.

You must have really liked it to have gone back!

This is a comment I got pretty often; and while the easy and perhaps obvious answer is, ‘Yes’, there is a bit more nuance behind it. There certainly was plenty that I disliked about living in Korea--but I think that between my absolute love for Seoul and other big Korean cities, as well as my interest in making my Korean proficiency sound more natural, I was more than welcoming to the idea of returning.

I will admit, however, that another factor that influenced my choice to return was the fact that Korea became my comfort zone. I know it's odd to think that a black, Nigerian-American woman would find refuge in Korea, but that’s exactly what happened. I was comfortable with the language, the living structure, the culture, the food, etc.--so going back was just as easy for me as it was to stay in the States (actually, maybe even easier!). If I’m being honest, part of me kind of wishes I had opted for a new experience that fell further outside of my comfort zone, but I’m still glad that I got the opportunity to spend more time over there.

Are Koreans nice?*

I’ve found that this is one of those questions which a lot of people ask, yet already expecting a specific answer. The best way I’ve found to answer this is: it depends on how you’re looking at things. For me, it felt that if you are a stranger, you won’t experience much warmth from other strangers. This sits as a contrast to a lot of (southern) American culture, where we hold doors open for each other, strike up small talk with strangers in the shopping aisles, and throw out a momentary smile if you make eye contact when crossing paths. Because of this cultural difference, some may deem Korean people as “not nice”. However, once you become familiar with someone, or get absorbed into an inner circle, you are treated very fondly, and (depending on your age relative to others) are cared for in a lot of ways. Korean people are just like all other people, so results may (and probably will) vary from person to person. So for me, I would say that Koreans can of course be nice, but that generally speaking, Korean culture is not warm (particularly to strangers).

Are Koreans racist?*

Again, another question that is hard for me to answer in one word. Ask me if Koreans are xenophobic, or colorist, and I won’t bat an eye before telling you yes. But in regards to if they are racist...I can’t help but to sit on the fence for this one.

I could write a whole post addressing just those three words--and honestly, maybe I should. For this reason, I’m gonna hold my tongue on answering this here (so stay tuned for the dedicated post~).

But if you really want to hear some of my thoughts now, you can check out my YouTube video on the topic from a few years ago. It definitely needs an update, but you’ll be able to hear my thoughts on why I find this to be a complicated question, if you’re interested!

Would you settle down in Korea permanently if given the opportunity?

This is another question that I struggle to give a straight answer for. As Korea stands today, my gut answer is ‘no’. It’s mostly because of the more logistical dealings that don’t make it into tourist's guides. For example, office environments and work-life balance in South Korea are notoriously not great (particularly among the OCED nations), so I don’t have a huge preference for working there. And given that I’d only want to live long-term in Korea if I am able to work in my field of interest (exception: if I’m able to make a comfortable living running a location-independent business), that makes my options even more far and few in between. On top of that, I am not crazy about the Korean education system, so I don’t think I’d want my hypothetical children attending school in Korea past maybe the 3rd or 4th grade. So while I could see myself comfortably enjoying parts of my 20s there, I don’t quite see it becoming my permanent home in the future.

Are you done with Korea?

As I see this chapter of my life in Korea close before me, this is a question I ask myself every once in a while. South Korea undeniably occupies a place in my heart, and I don’t think that will be going away anytime soon. I still try to keep up with Korean language (which I find to be receding in my brain as time goes on😟😖) and current events, as well as all the friends and contacts that I made across my two stays there. And I even have found myself being able to take on some minor freelance roles that stem out of Korea here and there, which also helps me stay connected with things on the ground (despite having to work against the 13-14hr time difference, which KILLS me💀). While there is no immediate prospect of me going back anytime soon, I do hope to be able to sustain my connection to the country as time goes on, and perhaps to find myself back there in one capacity or another sometime in the near future!

*Answers to these questions are based on ideas and conclusions that are entirely my own. I certainly haven’t made such conclusions lightly, and have utilized information from various sources to arrive to them. Regardless, they simply represent my own independent opinion.