Introducing: The Re-Parenting Series

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It’s no surprise that one of my big passions is personal development (as it’s a main pillar of what I talk about in many of my posts!). While things like therapy and “glowing-up” have seemed to come into fashion more recently, I’ve danced with personal development and behavioral psychology as personal topics of interest for more than a decade now, ever since undertaking my own journey to reset my mindset and cultivate self-love.

In line with this, I’m finally launching this series that has been on my mind for a quite some time now: The Re-Parenting Series.

We all know that the bulk of who we are comes from the influences that we had in our youth, namely by our parental/guardian figures and our environment. But like I talk about in my post ‘Dear Fellow 20-Somethings: We Owe It To Ourselves To Fix Ourselves’—how we’ve been shaped by our life circumstances up until now does not have to be the permanent form we maintain going forward. Because growth and maturing, in my opinion, isn’t merely a matter of passively “growing up”; rather, it’s largely an intentional shift to take on the continuous act of parenting and re-parenting ourselves. Experiencing life, learning, un-learning, and making adjustments accordingly–this is what stepping into our own requires of each and every one of us.

This series is going to focus on different areas and aspects which I have found (either through myself and/or others) hold great opportunities for Re-Parenting ourselves. They will range from topics like money habits and navigating relationships (both friendly and romantic), to self-imposed traditions and shame. Everyone’s mileage with each topic will vary: maybe you will recognize one about something that you implicitly absorbed from your familial environments but doesn’t serve you and your goals; while another will be your virgin voyage with me down the rabbit hole of a concept that you never learned, but see could definitely benefit you in your life journey. In any case, hopefully these discussions will stimulate thought on areas that you can choose to actively Re-Parent yourself.

As I post, I will welcome input about topic recommendations! This series is just as much for me as it is for anyone else–so thanks in advance for coming along with me through it!

On Community

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On Community

However, somehow both slowly and all at once, I’ve become preoccupied with this idea of community. Maybe it came about from setting up life in a new city amidst a pandemic, knowing no one and faced with establishing connections from scratch during a time when people were intentionally creating distance between one another. Or, it could be due to the loss of a long-term best friend that took me by surprise and left me with almost no one to confide in. Or, maybe it was the 3am health crisis that my roommate had; and as he laid seizing on our apartment floor, despite being in a building full of people, I felt myself at a loss on who I could call on for help.

Whatever the cause, community is at the top of my mind in ways that it has never been for me before.

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Emotions, Unfulfilled Dreams, & More: Some thoughts on 'Creed III'

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Emotions, Unfulfilled Dreams, & More: Some thoughts on 'Creed III'

I should admit–this movie had not been on my radar to see at all. Sure, I had seen it around here and there; but the title didn’t mean as much to me as it would to someone who is avid Michael B. Jordan fan (considering that this film marked his directorial debut), or to someone else who enjoyed growing up following the Rocky franchise (I actually didn’t know the Creed trilogy was born from the ‘Rocky’ movies until later). Despite this, I somehow found myself among the moviegoers in theaters to see it on its opening weekend. I had no background or expectations going in–but I was surprised that I quite enjoyed the movie, namely for some themes that it engaged with that I wanted to share my thoughts on here.

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Finding New Hobbies As An Adult

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Finding New Hobbies As An Adult

I don’t really have any hobbies.🙇🏽‍♀️

I was forced to face the music on this recently due to two things. One of such being dating apps–because there’s no escaping the dreaded questions of “What are your hobbies?” or “What do you do in your free time?” The other thing that made me realize my lack of hobbies was living in a different country, in the middle of nowhere. I’ve had previous extended stays outside of the US; but during my other travels, I was usually in big cities, where it was easy to find random things to fill up my time. But while residing in the mountainous northern countryside of South Korea–far from the city and having pretty few opportunities to interact with others (as my area basically comprised of children, soldiers, and elderly folks)–I realized: I don’t have anything concrete that I like to do.

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My Best Reads of 2021

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A few years ago I set an intention to get back to reading–and at the end of another year, I’m happy to report that I have successfully stuck to that commitment!

And even more recently, I dedicated myself to actively seeking out and spending more time reading books by and about underrepresented identities (in the world of fiction, that essentially means nonwhite identities; you can read why I did this here). And I’m so glad that I did, because every single book on this list is a result of that intention–and I likely would have missed out on these stellar reads if I was doing otherwise.

Part of the joy of reading is of course experiencing a story; but, as a natural storyteller myself, I’m aware that for me, the other part of the joy lies in sharing my reads with others. And that’s what inspired me to compile this list and present them to you here as a blog post–with hopes that you all will be inspired to check them out as well~

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My goal in this single short lifetime is to live as many lives as possible.

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My goal in this single short lifetime is to live as many lives as possible.

The older woman took her time approaching the counter, her gait a slow, measured shuffle. When she reached where I stood on the other side, she inquired about the restroom. While we have signs notating that ‘Restrooms are for customer use only’, I directed her to the back of the restaurant where they were located. However, she didn’t proceed on. Instead, she stared at me. After a few beats, she asked “You still getting them good shoes for free?”

Well. That was…unexpected.

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Your Anti-Racism Must Include Asian Americans

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Your Anti-Racism Must Include Asian Americans

This year, Black History Month and the Lunar New Year overlapped in the month of February. And while there is subsequently and rightfully a significant amount of narrative around uplifting Black voices, we don’t see anywhere near the same movement around Asian and Asian American voices, at any point of the year. I am only a single voice--one that doesn’t really have much of an audience honestly--but this month, I want to use my voice and my platform to uplift those of another group that faces racism, hate, marginalization and discrimination in the US and across the globe.

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My Steps For Decolonizing My Writing

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My Steps For Decolonizing My Writing

Previously, I wrote about how I recently came to realize how anti-blackness & white-centered narratives had infiltrated my storytelling and writing career (if you haven’t read it, you may want to click over to get the full background before diving into the rest).

So as promised, here are the steps I took/am taking to undo this mindset.

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Recognizing My Anti-Blackness As A Black Writer

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Recognizing My Anti-Blackness As A Black Writer

I am a writer. I mean that more in the life-calling sense, rather than the vocational sense. I wrote my first coherent story in the 2nd grade--a memory I vividly remember because of how my teacher responded. It was about a child who was stuck in a toy store and spent the night there alone. Everyone in my class had been assigned to write something on this prompt; but I had weaved a narrative with detail and depth that had apparently surpassed what was expected of a second-grader. My teacher was so shocked by the story I wrote that she went on to inform everyone from my mother to the principal. She even got me featured as a highlight in the school newsletter for it. It was honestly life-changing; before then, I remember feeling like the odd one out, even as early as kindergarten, because I didn’t feel like I had any talents. But from that incident onward, I finally found my gift.

However, about two years ago, another truly startling realization came to me:

That the characters in my fiction pieces were, and always have been, almost exclusively white.

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