Finding New Hobbies As An Adult

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Finding New Hobbies As An Adult

I don’t really have any hobbies.🙇🏽‍♀️

I was forced to face the music on this recently due to two things. One of such being dating apps–because there’s no escaping the dreaded questions of “What are your hobbies?” or “What do you do in your free time?” The other thing that made me realize my lack of hobbies was living in a different country, in the middle of nowhere. I’ve had previous extended stays outside of the US; but during my other travels, I was usually in big cities, where it was easy to find random things to fill up my time. But while residing in the mountainous northern countryside of South Korea–far from the city and having pretty few opportunities to interact with others (as my area basically comprised of children, soldiers, and elderly folks)–I realized: I don’t have anything concrete that I like to do.

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Everybody is going through something.

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Everybody is going through something.

This world is filled with so many things. Of course, there’s the joyous and the fascinating, the wondrous and the awe-inspiring. But there’s also a lot of the difficult, less-sparkly things as well–certainly more than any one of us even take into consideration on a daily basis. And these days, I can’t help but to think about all the heavy moments that a person can see during their lifetime.

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My Online Dating Profiles Are My App-Sized Love Letters to Myself

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My Online Dating Profiles Are My App-Sized Love Letters to Myself

I’m gonna go ahead and out myself on something here:

I love making dating app profiles.

Don’t get me wrong–dating apps are a special kind of hell, and between modern technology and a global pandemic, dating in this current day and age is, unequivocally, the ghetto (as well as a twisted gamification of human interactions…but that’s a gripe for another day).

You may have read that and thought, ‘Well gosh, someone’s vain’. And you know what–I’ll take that assessment, any day of the week. Because there was a long period of my life when I could have never claimed such confidence–and I live in constant awe and gratitude to have been able to emerge from those dark times and sit on the opposite side of the confidence spectrum.

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My Best Reads of 2021

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A few years ago I set an intention to get back to reading–and at the end of another year, I’m happy to report that I have successfully stuck to that commitment!

And even more recently, I dedicated myself to actively seeking out and spending more time reading books by and about underrepresented identities (in the world of fiction, that essentially means nonwhite identities; you can read why I did this here). And I’m so glad that I did, because every single book on this list is a result of that intention–and I likely would have missed out on these stellar reads if I was doing otherwise.

Part of the joy of reading is of course experiencing a story; but, as a natural storyteller myself, I’m aware that for me, the other part of the joy lies in sharing my reads with others. And that’s what inspired me to compile this list and present them to you here as a blog post–with hopes that you all will be inspired to check them out as well~

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My goal in this single short lifetime is to live as many lives as possible.

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My goal in this single short lifetime is to live as many lives as possible.

The older woman took her time approaching the counter, her gait a slow, measured shuffle. When she reached where I stood on the other side, she inquired about the restroom. While we have signs notating that ‘Restrooms are for customer use only’, I directed her to the back of the restaurant where they were located. However, she didn’t proceed on. Instead, she stared at me. After a few beats, she asked “You still getting them good shoes for free?”

Well. That was…unexpected.

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Your Anti-Racism Must Include Asian Americans

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Your Anti-Racism Must Include Asian Americans

This year, Black History Month and the Lunar New Year overlapped in the month of February. And while there is subsequently and rightfully a significant amount of narrative around uplifting Black voices, we don’t see anywhere near the same movement around Asian and Asian American voices, at any point of the year. I am only a single voice--one that doesn’t really have much of an audience honestly--but this month, I want to use my voice and my platform to uplift those of another group that faces racism, hate, marginalization and discrimination in the US and across the globe.

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My Steps For Decolonizing My Writing

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My Steps For Decolonizing My Writing

Previously, I wrote about how I recently came to realize how anti-blackness & white-centered narratives had infiltrated my storytelling and writing career (if you haven’t read it, you may want to click over to get the full background before diving into the rest).

So as promised, here are the steps I took/am taking to undo this mindset.

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Recognizing My Anti-Blackness As A Black Writer

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Recognizing My Anti-Blackness As A Black Writer

I am a writer. I mean that more in the life-calling sense, rather than the vocational sense. I wrote my first coherent story in the 2nd grade--a memory I vividly remember because of how my teacher responded. It was about a child who was stuck in a toy store and spent the night there alone. Everyone in my class had been assigned to write something on this prompt; but I had weaved a narrative with detail and depth that had apparently surpassed what was expected of a second-grader. My teacher was so shocked by the story I wrote that she went on to inform everyone from my mother to the principal. She even got me featured as a highlight in the school newsletter for it. It was honestly life-changing; before then, I remember feeling like the odd one out, even as early as kindergarten, because I didn’t feel like I had any talents. But from that incident onward, I finally found my gift.

However, about two years ago, another truly startling realization came to me:

That the characters in my fiction pieces were, and always have been, almost exclusively white.

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Dear Fellow 20-Somethings: We Owe It To Ourselves To Fix Ourselves

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Dear Fellow 20-Somethings: We Owe It To Ourselves To Fix Ourselves

For some of us, it’s puzzling. Maybe you came from a relatively standard upbringing: two parents, suburban living, a more-or-less “average” life. And yet, somehow, you look in the mirror and see cracks in the person that you have become.

And for some of us, there may be clear episodes that ruptured your internal settings; perhaps some painful or traumatic experiences that you’ve forgotten about, pushed away, convinced yourself that it had no bearing on you, or carry with you every single day.

Regardless of how you may have arrived to this point, I am here to tell you: you are not alone. And you're not permanently damaged goods; you can undoubtedly mend those breaks in your being.

But I’ll also tell you up-front: it will take work. And it is up to you—no one else, only you—to do that work to fix yourself.

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