Everybody is going through something.
/This world is filled with so many things. Of course, there’s the joyous and the fascinating, the wondrous and the awe-inspiring. But there’s also a lot of the difficult, less-sparkly things as well–certainly more than any one of us even take into consideration on a daily basis. And these days, I can’t help but to think about all the heavy moments that a person can see during their lifetime. The cancer diagnosis. The postpartum depression. The sudden death of a loved one. Or maybe it’s not a moment: maybe a person is still dealing with trauma that they endured as a child, and have carried with them all these years. Or, it could even the other less drastic circumstances that can still nonetheless be life-altering, frightening, or just simply unideal–the unexplained hair loss for a woman in her 20s that has crippled her self-esteem; the sleep paralysis that results in insomnia, which in turn leads to excessive daytime sleepiness, and makes every day utterly long and exhausting; or the toxic relationship that leaves a person fragmented and drained of the light that they used to have. I could go on and on, and still wouldn’t even brush the surface of the range of situations–because the truth is, there are so many variations of things that people are going through in this journey called life, with new unanticipated things popping up all the time.
The ups and downs of life—round and round we go~
What is of particular note is that most of us don’t have all of our life issues written across our foreheads; so much of what we all endure goes on unspoken of, and unseen by outsiders, whether that be by design or through active suppression. So just how others can’t see our pain, we don’t have a clear view of theirs either. And this can make us forget that other people are human too, and endure their own difficulties and tough circumstances just as we do in our own lives. I recall back to my latter high school days when I began to fully realize this point. I had made a friend who everyone viewed as “perfect”. She was cute, kind, excelled academically and had talent that expanded well past the classroom. She wasn’t a “popular kid”, per se; but everyone knew of her, and the general sentiment towards her was adornment. My self-deprecating mind of that time would leap at the opportunity to compare myself to her–why couldn’t I be more likable, more fair-skinned, more naturally-gifted, like she was? But when she and I fell into the same friend group through a mutual friend and I got closer with her, I began to see a more holistic version of the person everyone made her out to be. I witnessed things that others didn’t get to; like the all-nighters that she would pull, which would end for her with sobbing anxiety attacks that would drag on for hours. Or the way she neglected herself and her space in order to juggle all of her commitments–we could tell when she had a deadline approaching based on how little of the floor would be visible through her belongings strewn about the room. It took me seeing her at her lowest moments to really humanize her, and have it dawn on me that, ‘Wow, even this girl who I thought was so perfect actually has her issues and hangups—just like the rest of us.’
Having some new unideal circumstances appear in my own life recently, I’ve found myself thinking more about these points, and how I can be of support for my friends as they endure their own tribulations–especially the problems that they don’t think they can talk about, or maybe just don’t know how.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. But I know that I want to say this: we’re all going through something. So be kind. Extend to others the grace that you’d want to have extended to you. Think about how you can be a supportive friend; check in on others, whether they seem to be needing it or not. And it works the other way around too; during a hard time, you should be able to ask your friends to be there for you, even if that simply means holding space for you to vent. (You should have at least one friend that you can do this with–if not, it might be time to reassess how/who you’re forming relationships with. Do we want a post exploring this?🤔) And of course, don’t forget to be gentle with yourself as well.
Thanks for reading, and consider sharing this with anyone you want to remind that they have your support.
