I don’t really have any hobbies.🙇🏽‍♀️

I was forced to face the music on this recently due to two things. One of such being dating apps–because there’s no escaping the dreaded questions of “What are your hobbies?” or “What do you do in your free time?” The other thing that made me realize my lack of hobbies was living in a different country, in the middle of nowhere. I’ve had previous extended stays outside of the US; but during my other travels, I was usually in big cities, where it was easy to find random things to fill up my time. But while residing in the mountainous northern countryside of South Korea–far from the city and having pretty few opportunities to interact with others (as my area basically comprised of children, soldiers, and elderly folks)–I realized: I don’t have anything concrete that I like to do.

I of course have some ways that I use my free time–like reading and writing–but let’s be real: those are things that just about any literate individual can do. They’re hobbies...but they’re not hobbies...you get me? Writing these days is sometimes for work, and even when doing it leisurely, it feels so second-nature that it’s hard for me to call it a hobby. And reading is something I do in my free time typically for either learning or entertainment (or, of course, using an audiobook as background noise while I complete household chores). In any case, I’ve reached my own verdict on the matter: I ain’t got no hobbies.🙃

So this dilemma presents the question: how does one find new hobbies? If you’re like me, finding a new hobby seems simple, yet is actually a bit daunting. Of course there are endless numbers of things that one can do, but that kind of adds to the problem: how does one pick something? And from there, how do you start? Since I know that I surely can’t be the only one coming up against this one, I wanted to share with you all things that I’ve been doing to get myself out there in hopes of lining up with my next hobby match.

1. Start where you are: see what activities are offered in your area.

To help with this beginner’s anxiety, I think that starting by scoping out your local area for activities can be immensely helpful. Keep your eyes open for literally anything–chances are that someone is doing something for leisure and has it open up to the public. Despite being a digital-fueled world these days, you are bound to still encounter signage or flyers advertising different things that you can join in on. For example, while living in rural South Korea, on my walk to school in my small town I passed by a place that gave music lessons–which gave me thoughts about taking more time to learn to play the piano, something I’ve dreamed of for years now. (And although I didn’t end up doing the lessons, that signage did get me to start practicing on my own in between classes!) Similarly, in my current area I’m always walking past different advertisements, like for morning/weekend running clubs or gardening groups. You can also visit local libraries or community centers and see what they have going on there. This is how I found a book club in my area centered around black authors–something that is exactly up my alley, but not a thing I would have ever thought to seek out on my own!

2. Take to the Inter-Web for inspiration.

And of course, a real search for new things to do wouldn’t be complete without taking advantage of modern-day digital connectivity. In minutes you’ll be able to find more information than you’ll know what to do with, for all kinds of activities. It can be a bit overwhelming, but it also can be nice to open up your mind to all of the hobby possibilities out there--you will undoubtedly find many that have never crossed your mind before. Kitesurfing, glassblowing, beekeeping, geocaching--the list goes on!

Also be sure to give sites like Meetup, Eventbrite, or Facebook groups a visit to see if any open activities are going on within a reasonable distance from you. All of this gives you time to read up on different hobbies, and while you’re doing so, pay attention to which ones light a spark of interest or fascination in you, and take note of them. Those might be a good place to start!

3. Talk to others and see what they’re doing.

This may seem like an obvious point, but I think we can agree that it’s probably not something that most of us can recount ourselves doing recently. Asking people about their hobbies is not only great for conversation–because if someone is doing something they enjoy, chances are they’ll be more than happy to share–but it also can help you learn about things that you may not have even known existed. Maybe there’s a hole-in-the-wall carpentry place closeby, or a pole-dancing studio that just opened and has a class promotion going on. Or, someone may just be getting into something new and would be open to having you tag along with them to the next session. Hearing other people’s first-hand experience with something (especially if they have positive things to report) usually helps make it feel more accessible, especially if they too are new to the activity. I know that I’ve got my own little running short list of things I want to try out after talking to people who are doing it, like swing dancing and pottery-making; and if you’re willing to open yourself up to different things, you’re bound to be able to do the same!

4. Bury your self-consciousness about sucking.

I think it’s a widely known and understood thing that we as humans are often hesitant/fearful about trying new things. But there’s a secondary sentiment that I have noticed when it comes to starting something new: people are afraid of doing things that they’re not good at.

Let’s keep it real: If you’re doing something for the first time, you’re probably gonna suck at it. Of course there are gonna be some people that can hop into some things and ease right in like a pro, but trust me when I say that everyone is going to suck at something when they first give it a go. Your first painting will probably only have a vague resemblance to the model scene; your first try at baking will probably result in runny centers or burnt bottoms; and your first pottery piece will probably be so uneven that it can’t sit upright on its own. Or, maybe it doesn’t happen the first time; but it catches up with you the second and third and fourth time around. None of this is anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed about; it simply comes with the territory of being a novice. Embrace the work-in-progress status of your skills; and if you keep at it, you will probably find yourself improving over time. And even if you don’t–do it for the sheer fulfillment of it! You don’t have to be a pro or see linear improvement to justify doing something. Remember that some things that you do can just be for the fun of it.

5. Don’t shy away from exploring!

So maybe you’ve tried something out, but it’s just not workinging for you. No worries! You don’t want to commit to something just for the sake of sticking through it. Your hobby is just that–yours. So it should be something that brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of accomplishment. If what you’re doing doesn’t seem to be eliciting any of these feelings for you, then there’s no harm in laying it to rest. Doing so frees you up to find that thing that is worth your time, money and effort. Don’t look at it as giving up or starting over; you’re simply continuing your exploration for the right hobby for you!

So try putting some of these tips to work to find your next hobby! Trying new things can seem daunting, but you’re more than capable of taking that leap into any unfamiliar territory. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with throwing in the towel on an activity if it simply isn’t a good fit for you. But giving up on something you’re enjoying simply because you’re not immediately good at it? NOT ACCEPTABLE. If you enjoy it, stick with it! Progress comes with practice, time and patience; sucking is an inevitable part of that process. But honestly, focus less on being “good” and more on enjoying your hobby, and I promise it’ll make it all the more worthwhile.

Let me know your new hobbies or things you’ve recently tried out in the comments below~!