Recognizing My Anti-Blackness As A Black Writer

Recognizing My Anti-Blackness As A Black Writer

I am a writer. I mean that more in the life-calling sense, rather than the vocational sense. I wrote my first coherent story in the 2nd grade--a memory I vividly remember because of how my teacher responded. It was about a child who was stuck in a toy store and spent the night there alone. Everyone in my class had been assigned to write something on this prompt; but I had weaved a narrative with detail and depth that had apparently surpassed what was expected of a second-grader. My teacher was so shocked by the story I wrote that she went on to inform everyone from my mother to the principal. She even got me featured as a highlight in the school newsletter for it. It was honestly life-changing; before then, I remember feeling like the odd one out, even as early as kindergarten, because I didn’t feel like I had any talents. But from that incident onward, I finally found my gift.

However, about two years ago, another truly startling realization came to me:

That the characters in my fiction pieces were, and always have been, almost exclusively white.

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Dear Fellow 20-Somethings: We Owe It To Ourselves To Fix Ourselves

Dear Fellow 20-Somethings: We Owe It To Ourselves To Fix Ourselves

For some of us, it’s puzzling. Maybe you came from a relatively standard upbringing: two parents, suburban living, a more-or-less “average” life. And yet, somehow, you look in the mirror and see cracks in the person that you have become.

And for some of us, there may be clear episodes that ruptured your internal settings; perhaps some painful or traumatic experiences that you’ve forgotten about, pushed away, convinced yourself that it had no bearing on you, or carry with you every single day.

Regardless of how you may have arrived to this point, I am here to tell you: you are not alone. And you're not permanently damaged goods; you can undoubtedly mend those breaks in your being.

But I’ll also tell you up-front: it will take work. And it is up to you—no one else, only you—to do that work to fix yourself.

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QUARANTINE MUST: Celebrate how far you’ve come.

These days, a lot of things are going wrong for a lot of people. I know I can definitely identify with this, as I face issues surrounding employment, housing, and visa status, among other things. So naturally, a lot of my energy and focus has been in trying to sort out how I’m going to navigate all of these unknowns in the near future.

But in one of the silent moments where my mind wasn’t thinking about eight things at once, a beautiful thought dawned on me:

I may not have any clue where I’m going from here, but damn, look how far I’ve come.

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Don’t focus on your goals.

Don’t focus on your goals.

In the proper spirit of a new year (and new decade!), many of us are setting goals to orientate ourselves with the future self that we aspire to be.

I personally love this; I think that, no matter what time of the year it is, creating goals to improve ourselves should be something we all take the time to do.

However, what I’d like to advocate for is that after we create that goal, rather than continually revisiting it, we should try to not focus on the goal itself.

Seems counter-intuitive? Let me break it down.

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